Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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