we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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