every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
