My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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