my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
