I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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