fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize