ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
