I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
