Tell her she can't have a vagina
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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