Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
