He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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