Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize