Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
