Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
