I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
