Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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