best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Success! We fucked roommates!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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