Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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