We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize