he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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