I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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