I am puke
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
