I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize