I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
