Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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