Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
