The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
