Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize