What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
