im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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