just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
