Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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