We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
