i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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