Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
