just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize