My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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