I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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