All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
