You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
