Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
