You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
