that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
