I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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