I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
