Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
