I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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