I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
