i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
