babies were throwing up all over the place
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
