I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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