Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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