I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
