im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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