Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
