Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
it's great music for shaving your balls
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
