i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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