No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
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If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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