i don't like sucking hair
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.