I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal