You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We left the knife in your bed.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea