you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
thus making me awesome and them whores
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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